I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
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So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
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can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
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