thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
