official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize