So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
