I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
