I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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