The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
