Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
