pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
it glows. i had to have it.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
