It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
