am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
