My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize