Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
