She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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