Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
It's never too late to be topless.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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