She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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