google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
