Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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