Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
