Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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