whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
