My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
