I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize