i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Randomize
