Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
