Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
