So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize