I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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