he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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