i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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