Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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