That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
