Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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