Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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