Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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