weddingsv make me drug and hornr
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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