my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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