my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
