You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
im six kinds of drunk right now
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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