Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
