Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
