My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
