There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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