Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
