You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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