I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
