He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
