I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
