WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Drunk walkin through police station. America
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
