You really coming over, don't trick.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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