Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i was born a porn star she said
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
