fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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