please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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