Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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