Betty ford says i'm here all night
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
