if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
did you just send me my own nude
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
false alarm, still single
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
