But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
