even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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