I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize
