the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
