DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
