Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
